This is going to be a regular post (every two months). I’ll feature two words that are common culprits each post and give you some alternatives. Together we can rid business writing of these stodgy intruders!

So here goes:

Utilise – what’s wrong with use?

Please utilise all the space inside the room. Pompous and stiff.

Please use all the space inside the room. Natural and won’t make you sound like a numpty. Not at all.

Commences – why not begins?

The evening commences at 7.30pm with informal networking. Doesn’t sound much fun to me.

The evening begins at 7.30 with informal networking. Much friendlier! Can’t wait to go.

I like having something to read with my breakfast so I started to flick through it. There was a rather large ad on the back page (so a good, prominent position that most likely cost quite a bit) and the heading read:

“Wedding Video’s.”

Oh dear. Not a good start. Misplaced apostrophes are my bugbear and for the life of me, I don’t understand why anyone thinks it’s correct to use one in a plural. Reading further down the ad, I came across:

“Children’s Party’s”.

Breakfast now totally ruined, and indigestion setting in, I decided to write about apostrophe abuse again.

OK. Apostrophes have two main uses:

1) To show a letter or letters have been left out of a word (contraction).

2) To show belonging (possessive).

Contractions

Some examples:

I just can’t do this. (I just cannot do this).

Customers don’t like misplaced apostrophes. (Customers do not like misplaced apostrophes).

John won’t be going to the meeting next week. (John will not be going to the meeting next week).

I wouldn’t put that apostrophe there if I were you. (I would not put that apostrophe there if I were you)

She couldn’t have tried any harder. (She could not have tried any harder).

I wrote about contractions not long ago.  I know some people don’t like them but trust me, they do make copy easier and more pleasant to read.

Without contractions, copy sounds pompous, formal, and very robotic.

Belonging

Elaine’s book is over there on the shelf (the book belonging to Elaine).

The cat’s basket is next to the fire (the basket belonging to the cat).

Brand names of course are a law unto themselves:

Harrods

Boots

It gets a little more complicated if you have a word that already ends in ‘s’, but only a little. Take this for instance:

Thomas’s drink.

You still have to use the apostrophe followed by ‘s’. So,

Chris’s bicycle.

James’s camera.

But this is English, so naturally there are exceptions. However, it’s unlikely these two will crop up in your business writing:

Jesus’ disciples

Archimedes’ screw

Here are some examples of place names:

St James’s Park

St Thomas’s Road

And a tricky one:

Guy’s and St Thomas’ Hospital NHS Trust.

Plurals

With plurals, the apostrophe goes after the final ‘s’. So:

The teams’ colours clashed. (The colours of multiple teams clashed).

The books’ covers were damaged in the flood. (The covers of multiple books were damaged).

OK. That’s straightforward but what about words that are already plural? Children, men, women, people for instance.

Well again, it’s not difficult. Each word is a collective noun so you treat it as singular. The apostrophe goes after the last letter and before the ‘s’. Some examples:

The children’s shoes.

The men’s shoe department.

The women’s dress collection.

The people’s vote.

It’s or its?

This always causes problems, and yes it’s confusing when I’ve just told you that apostrophes show that something belongs. However, now I’m going to tell you that this particular possessive doesn’t take an apostrophe.

It’s quite easy once you remember that.

Use it’s if you are replacing a word e.g. it is.

Use its if there is no word to replace e.g.

The cat sat on its mat.

So – the dog sleeps in its (belonging to the dog) kennel. It’s (it is) kept outside. (How jolly mean!)

Incorrect use of apostrophes

Here’s what triggered this post: apostrophes used when the word is simply plural:

Tomatoe’s

Pizza’s

Greeting’s cards

CD’s

DVD’s

1980’s (unless you mean something that belongs to the 1980s, like shoulder pads and black ash furniture, or if you’re American.)

However there are times when it’s correct and useful to use an apostrophe in a plural:

Mind your p’s and q’s

How many s’s are there in Mississippi?

Don’t litter your writing with e.g.’s and i.e.’s

In the last three examples, the apostrophe gives clarity.

Of course there are exceptions – this is English after all. However, I hope this article helps.

I found myself very much over-reacting to his over-use of quote marks. He’s wrapped them around anything and everything. On one page alone there are nine instances of totally unnecessary inverted commas. And the very fact I’ve bothered to count them shows I’m over-reacting, and that these seemingly innocuous little punctuation marks are indeed controlling me.

I find them distracting. They force me to pause and emphasise the framed word in a particular way and with a very particular voice in my head that I heartily dislike. So that (and counting the marks) means my productivity is slowed right down: the total opposite of the book’s point.

So when and where should quotation marks be used?

When to use quotation marks

Quote marks, also known as speech marks and inverted commas are used around:

• direct speech
• titles of books, chapters in books, magazine articles, films, TV and radio programmes etc
• an unfamiliar word or phrase, or one that’s used in a technical context – as if you were highlighting it. However, you only need to do that once to introduce it.

They are not used around colloquial or slang words and phrases. According to the Oxford English Style Guide that would be like using them to replace a ‘rather sniffy so called’. This is the example it gives:

“They have cut down the trees in the interest of ‘progress’.”  But I also think they are used as a replacement for ‘so called’ in lots of other, less sniffy instances, and it’s that usage that really irritates me as you’ll find out later in this post. If you choose to read on of course!

Which type should you use?

There are two types of quotation marks: single and double.

The Oxford English Style Guide says that British practice is to enclose quoted matter between single quotation marks, and to use double marks for a quotation within a quotation.

It goes on to say that this style is preferred in academic books but is reversed in newspapers and in the US. I must admit I prefer to use double quotes for anything I quote from a book and single marks for anything quoted within that.

While either is correct you must use whichever style you choose consistently.

Here are some examples.

Direct speech

“Too many quotation marks make my eyes spin and my head ache,” said Elaine in an irritated, irrational kind of way.

You could write that statement indirectly without the quotation marks, like this:

Elaine said that too many quotation marks make her eyes spin and her head ache.

Titles

‘Wind in the Willows’ by Kenneth Grahame is one of my favourite books (it’s just gorgeous. Give yourself a treat and dig it out if you haven’t read it in a while).

I can’t wait for the next series of ‘Spooks’ (but if they kill-off Lucas, I’ll never watch it again).

For quotations

If you are quoting something from a book or other source, you need to put inverted commas around the quote. You should also name the source.

“Though it was past ten o’clock at nigh, the sky still clung to and retained some lingering skirts of light from the departed day; and the sullen heats of the torrid afternoon broke up and rolled away at the dispersing touch of the cool fingers of the short midsummer night.” (Chapter 7, ‘Wind in the Willows’ by Kenneth Grahame).

How not to use quotation marks

Now this is usage that really gets to me.

(My inverted commas are in red and I’ll tell you why I’ve used them in a minute).

“Even those who are not consciously “stressed out” will invariably experience greater relaxation, better focus, and increased productive energy when they learn more effectively to control the “open loops” of their lives.”

Using quote marks around words like this means they are implied or a concept. Imagine the phrase ‘so called’ in front of each of them. Now imagine reading so called in front of nine words or phrases on a single page!

In the above example there is no reason to use quotes around ‘stressed out’ as it’s a well-known and accepted phrase.

The inverted commas around ‘open loops’ are valid at this point because the author is introducing it as a concept. However, once he’s introduced it, he should ditch the quote marks. He doesn’t.

Here’s another example (and a very pertinent one at that!):

“What most “bugs” you, distracts you… or in some other way consumes a large part of your conscious attention?” (mmm, let me think).

Again, there’s no reason to wrap the word ‘bugs’ in quotes. So why have I done that in the last sentence and around so called and open loops earlier? And why have I used double quotes around the two examples I’ve given you?

My double inverted commas show that I’ve lifted the quote from a book. They’re not my own words. I should also tell you the name of the book and its author, but since I’m criticising him, I’m not going to – sorry.

The quotes around so called and bugs avoid confusion by separating them in the sentence. I’m highlighting them, if you like, as the reason for having them in the sentence may otherwise be lost.  An alternative is to put them in italics, as I’ve done here.

I suppose ironically, (and yes it really is ironic) although the plague of inverted commas in my be more productive book distracted me, ultimately they have made me more productive. After all, they did prompt to write this blog post.

“It’s like rain on your wedding day

It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid

It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take

And isn’t it ironic … don’t you think?”

Well, no actually I don’t. Bad luck – yes. Ironic – no. So when should you use the word ironic?

But Alanis Morissette isn’t the only person to have misused the word ironic. She just did it very publically and loudly in her famous song. Misuse of irony and ironic happens all the time.

It’s a favourite of football commentators most weeks as they describe things on the pitch that are simply coincidences or not even that. Take this for example. ‘Carlos Tevez struggled to score for Manchester United. So it’s ironic he’s just scored two against them wearing a Manchester City shirt.’ Not ironic at all. Just very, very annoying. Sorry if you hate football, but you get my point.

So when and how should we use ironic?

Here’s a nice simple definition of irony from the Penguin English Pocket Dictionary (which, ironically, is too large to fit into a pocket):

Meaning one: the humorous use of words to express a meaning opposite to their literal meaning. This definition is the favourite of satirists of course.

Meaning two: incongruity between actual and the expected results of a particular event or course of action.

So, let’s say my next newsletter is all about the importance of getting your newsletter out regularly, and by the date you’ve stated. Then I don’t send out another issue for three months. That would be ironic. And very bad practice of course.

Here’s another example of irony. Some friends of ours moved house recently. The van they hired from the, as it turns out, dodgy local van hire firm broke down in a blizzard. They waited hours for a rescue truck, freezing cold with nothing to read to while away the time. And packed away in boxes in the back? Loads of insulation material and their book collection.

The final example involves the same friends. They finally got to their new home and plugged in their TV. They’ve never been able to get Channel Five on this particular TV. In this house they can’t get any channel except… yep you’ve guessed – Channel Five!

Keith Gravell of Cambridge Web Projects knows Microsoft products inside out. And unlike me, he doesn’t see Microsoft as the ‘Evil Empire’.  So I emailed him for advice.

Straight away, he told me something I didn’t know (not difficult!). Apparently, the language is set separately for each document.

That means you can set your computer, and Word, to UK English, but if you get a document from someone who hasn’t done this, their US default will override your UK setting.

It doesn’t make any sense to me. I would expect my computer’s settings to dominate, but that’s Microsoft for you I guess. (Stop it Elaine. They’re not evil dictators. Really they’re not).

Because there are now so many versions of Microsoft Office in use, the best thing to do is go to the Help menu in your version of Word. Or click here to find out more about managing languages.

Detect language automatically feature

Word does have its good points (ouch that did hurt). Keith told me that, Word 2007 has a detect language automatically feature. So if you start typing in any language you’ve set before, within a few words, it will switch automatically to that language.

He told me, “I’ve set Word to UK English, but if I type five or six words in French (which I also use), Word will switch to that language automatically.

“It doesn’t work immediately for pasted-in text – you have to start typing in a language to trigger the change.”

Here’s a Microsoft article on how to set the detect language automatically feature in Word 2007.

And here’s how to do it in Word 2003

Setting the language in style templates

And there’s more.  You can also set the language in each of Word’s built-in styles. The steps below apply to Word 2003, and certainly to Word 2007 for Mac. The standard document template in this version is Normal.doc or Normal.

To change the language for this template:

• Go to Format in the menu bar at the top of the screen.
• Select Styles and Formatting.
• Click on the drop-down options for Normal and choose Modify.
• Select Format in the bottom left-hand corner of the box and you’ll see the Language option.

Click this and the choices will be displayed.

As Keith says, “It may be a pain having to set language choice at both machine and style sheet level within Word. However it does mean you can easily switch between languages or dialects when writing for two markets  – particularly useful if you have a US market.”

It’s all a lot more complex than I think it ought to be but I hope this helps a little.

Guest post by Kate Walker, career transition consultant and CV expert

Did you know that on average a busy recruiter spends only 60 seconds reading your CV? Sad but true. Especially when you think of the blood, sweat and tears you spent writing it.

Let’s take a moment to consider what your CV is for. Well, it is the first personal marketing material that a recruiter sees. You want it to get you into the yes pile during that 60 second review. You need it to whet their appetite, make them read on and, ultimately want to meet you.

So how can you make sure yours gets you noticed and increases your chance of landing the interview you really want? Well, first you must make sure that all your best bits are at the top.

Begin your CV with a clear, concise four to five line summary statement or personal profile. This should capture the essence of YOU and what you wish to be known for. For example:

Highly driven and quality conscious Human Resources Business Partner. Extensive HR experience including management of organisational development and change initiatives. Excellent track-record of strategic and operational achievement at regional, national and global level.

Next, bullet point three to four key skills. For example:

• Lateral thinking when problem solving
• Strong relationship building, responsive to needs of disparate clients
• Inspiring, organising and influencing teams across cultures to deliver against demanding goals

You will have filled about one third of your first page. This is a recruiter’s main focus area. So don’t be modest. Sell yourself!

‘Without publicity a terrible thing happens: nothing’

PT Barnum

In the current economic climate a  well-written, standout CV is even more important. For every national press advertisement placed, some 300 applications are received.

You need to stand out from the crowd. All too often people let themselves down in the silliest ways. It’s easily done. I’ve seen some howlers.

A colleague spelt his name wrong on his CV and hadn’t noticed. I could forgive this but it was the first thing I read at the very top of the page. And it wasn’t a name that was difficult to spell!

Furthermore he claimed in his profile to have excellent attention to detail. Somewhat shooting yourself in the foot, I think.

Now here are some more basic principles to think about when writing your CV.

Choose the right format for you

There are several different kinds, with pros and cons to each.

Consider which of the following two would best showcase your career history and achievements. And also which best meets your personal career aims.

INDENT Reverse Chronological and Functional

Reverse Chronological – most commonly used. Lists experience in reverse chronological order, most recent work first. This works well if you:

• Are applying for a role in a traditional organisation/industry
• Are looking to stay in a similar function/industry
• Have worked for prestigious companies
• Want to show a steady career progression

Functional – more  skills-based. Rolls together skills and experience under job function headings, e.g.: Leadership, Change Management, Recruitment and Selection. This works well if you:

• Are making a significant career change
• Have been employed by the same company for a long time
• Want to draw attention to skills you have not used recently

Be a solution to the problem

Read the job advert carefully. Every word is in there for a reason.

What does the job description say? What does the person specification say?

Most people fail to match the skills, achievements and experience they offer, to what the employer wants. You can do a bit of matchmaking here on your own behalf.

Show that you understand what they are looking for by mirroring the essential and desirable qualities. Consider your audience. Are you applying to a  forward-looking, creative company or a more traditional, staid and professional one? Using their language shows you are on a similar wavelength and indicates your likely fit with the company.

This is about correct pitch. It also helps ensure you only apply for roles which closely match what you offer. Why waste time sending off 50 applications when two or three will do?

Using power words

Although it is always best to keep your writing simple, many CVs can be dry and repetitive. Read one and you’ve read them all. You can stand out from the crowd by varying power words to strengthen your writing:

For planned use centralised, programmed, positioned, structured

For provided use executed, formulated, represented

For improved use enhanced, optimised, transformed

Achievements

Where possible always include HOW you have done things rather than list duties and responsibilities. This brings your CV to life more than anything else. Adding specific results and successes gives context and backs up your key skills.

For example:

• Increased sales force headcount by 20% in Q2 2008, driving up quality of new hires in notoriously difficult inner London areas.

Always keep your master CV up to date, adding more and more achievements. It should be a constant work in progress. I review mine every three months.

Presentation

Some of the best CVs I have seen fail to impress for basic reasons. Keep it simple and easy to read for us poor overworked recruiters.

Here are my top tips for good presentation:

• Use bullet points, margins and leave plenty of white spacing.

• Keep to two pages.

• Stick to one tense – past tense preferred.

• Avoid jargon and abbreviations.

• Use good quality white or cream paper and matching envelope.

• Don’t overdo colour, lines, boxes, capitals.

• Use a crisp, clean typeface such as Arial, Verdana, Tahoma.

• Use font size 11/12, no smaller.

• Always get someone else to proofread before sending out.

• Avoid “I, me, we…” (I know that Elaine may disagree with me here!). It’s considered more formal and professional to write in the third person, whereas personal pronouns give a more informal, conversational feel.

• Once again, consider your audience. Certainly a biographical sketch or profile in the first person can be useful when networking.

And finally, think quality versus quantity

Be brief. Use short sentences. Think telegram not novel.

‘There’s a great power in words, if you don’t hitch too many of them together’

 Josh Billings 1818-1885

You can contact Kate Walker on 0208 287 0158 or 07980 473151.

Email: katewalker136@googlemail.com

• it’s instead of it is
• you’ve rather than you have
• we’ve instead of we have

People seem to think they are a bit slangy and must be avoided at all costs. However, using it’s instead of it is doesn’t make you look sloppy: quite the opposite in fact. Contractions help to make your copy more engaging AND easier to read.

Don’t believe me? Well take a look at these examples. The first is taken from one of my own website pages. I wanted the copy to reflect my personality and to read more like a conversation than a missive. Here it is without contractions:

Here is what I can do for you.

I have written for a wide range of formats and audiences.

As well as creating copy from scratch, I am also happy to work with existing copy that is not quite saying what you want. Perhaps you get copy that has been translated from another language: I can make sure it works for you.

I have worked direct with clients, and with marketing and PR agencies.

But perhaps as important as the above, I have been the client.

Stuffy, formal, and boring. Not how I want to come across. Here’s how it actually appears on the site:

Here’s what I can do for you.

I’ve written for a wide range of formats and audiences.

As well as creating copy from scratch, I’m also happy to work with existing copy that isn’t quite saying what you want. Perhaps you get copy that’s been translated from another language: I can make sure it works for you.

I’ve worked direct with clients, and with marketing and PR agencies.

But perhaps as important as the above, I’ve been the client.

Just using a simple apostrophe to replace some of the words injects a bit of life into it. It lifts the copy, makes it flow better, and it sounds more natural.

OK, so what if you are writing on behalf of an organisation about something a little more serious? What if you identify that your audience is very senior and perhaps older? You still don’t have to succumb to stiff, stilted writing to get them to read it.

Most of our marketing communications – websites, newsletters, brochures, or reports – land on the desk of very busy people. Presumably we want them to be read. That means we have to make it easy to read in a hurry. And contractions help that along.

I’m not suggesting you should use them exclusively – variety helps to make copy interesting. But reading copy devoid of any contractions is like wading through a muddy field in Doc Martens that are already caked in mud (and imagine you’re trying to flee from a herd of angry-looking cows … but that’s another story).

Here’s another example. It’s from a newsletter I’ve just written for a not for profit organisation. The newsletter’s main audience is supporters and customers of the organisation’s charity shops. However it will also go to senior executives in business and local government. They want the newsletter to get across important and serious messages, but they also want it to be engaging. And to be read.

This article is about how they are investigating setting up a credit union to help low-income families:

It’s a big issue for us so we’ve been investigating the idea of setting up a credit union in the boroughs. We’ve funded a feasibility study to gauge interest.

Here it is without the contractions:

It is a big issue for us so we have been investigating the idea of setting up a credit union in the boroughs. We have funded a feasibility study to gauge interest.

The second version sounds unnatural and affected, and pretty much as you would expect from such an organisation. However, the original version with contractions is punchier and far less turgid.

Contractions are even more important in direct or reported speech. Here’s a quote in the same newsletter. The article is about the book basement in one of the charity shops and the quote is from the shop manager:

“It’s run entirely by volunteers, one of whom has worked in books all her life. She’s categorised everything to make browsing really easy”.

And here it is without contractions:

“It is run entirely by volunteers one of whom has worked in books all her life. She has categorised everything to make browsing really easy”.

We simply don’t speak like that. If we did we would sound like robots or aliens out of Star Trek or Doctor Who.

According to a post on Roy Jacobsen’s blog ‘Writing, Clear and Simple‘, Rudolf Flesch, author, readability expert and writing consultant, was a big fan. Flesch created the Flesch Reading Ease test and was co-creator of the Flesch-Kincaid readability test.

So it’s safe to assume Rudolf knows a little bit about readability. This is what he wrote in his 1966 book -The ABC of Style:

“…the more contractions you use, the more your writing will resemble idiomatic, spoken English. In fact, the spelling out of usually contracted words is sometimes downright unidiomatic and wrong.”

Roy also quotes William Zinsser, author of On Writing Well, on the subject:

“Your style will be warmer and truer to your personality if you use contractions like “I’ll” and “won’t” and “can’t” when they fit comfortably into what you’re writing. “I’ll be glad to see them if they don’t get mad” is less stiff than “I will be glad to see them if they do not get mad.” (Read that aloud and hear how stilted it sounds.) There’s no rule against such informality-trust your ear and your instincts.”

I like Zinsser’s advice on reading your copy out loud. It’s always a good idea anyway as it gives you a sense of how it will sound to your audience.

And on another point, it’s something that Rona Wheeldon of The Organised PA recommends as a good proof-reading technique. Rona has proofread this newsletter by the way.

As with everything you write (unless it’s a highly personal diary), you need to think about your audience. What impression will they get about you, your company, products or services, from your writing?

If you want to come across all Vulcan-like then avoid contractions. If you want to sound human and approachable, give them a go.

It perfectly illustrates the power of words when used well and creatively. The message is the economy of the Blue Motion range and it’s reflected by wonderfully economic copy.

The crossed out copy is readable (and in fact curiosity makes you want to read it) so all the technical stuff is there.  However, it’s the words that are left that you notice and read first. They give a very simple and clear message: Blue Motion saves you money.

They’ve even crossed out most of the letters in Volkswagen to leave VW.

The strapline, ‘another example of VW efficiency’ sums up the ad as well as the Blue Motion range. Clever.

It was created by DDB London – VW’s UK ad agency for quite some time now. They’ve given us some great TV ads over the years but I think this poster campaign is up there with the best.   I just wish I’d written it!

But it was the line that cut through the logo that made me snort with derision. Written in a soft script typeface, to give it that human touch, was the phrase ‘We Care’.  ‘National Clamps – We Care’?  Do me a favour.Are we really supposed to believe that the burly blokes who clamp our cars actually care? And that they give two hoots when they charge us extortionate fees to release them?  I think not.

This strapline is wrong on so many levels.  It reads like something that was scribbled on the back of a fag packet without any thought. It says nothing about the company (well, actually it does. But not what they intended I’m sure).  Worst of all, it’s downright antagonistic!

I suspect they decided they needed to get away from their industry’s poor public image. However, just saying the words ‘we care’ really isn’t going to do it. You have to live your strapline for it to count.

Of course National Clamps isn’t the only company to get it wrong. It’s a big mistake and a lost opportunity.

Straplines comprise so few words yet they count for so much. Along with your logo, your company strapline is part of your corporate identity. So it should reflect your culture, values, and expertise. It should express your company’s personality. It needs to be distinctive and memorable – for the right reasons of course.

Since you’re likely to be stuck with it for some years you need to invest time and careful consideration into getting it right. Try it out on a few people before you go live to check their reaction. Make sure it gets the response you want before you unleash it.

It takes time to come up with a strapline that encapsulates the essence of your company in a few words. Sometimes as long as it takes to write the copy for an average sized website in fact. OK, there may be the odd light bulb moment, but not that often. That’s because the words that make up the best straplines aren’t just plucked out of thin air.

Companies with great straplines, the ones that have embedded themselves into our psyche, will have defined exactly what they want to convey. They will have discussed, researched, and sampled. And, yes, some will have paid a lot of money for them.

Here are some examples of the best ones:

Every little helps – Tesco.  It’s also one of those lines that’s become part of our vocabulary

You shop, we drop – Tesco again for its online shopping service. I really love this one.

We’re number two, so we try harder – Avis Car Rentals. I love the boldness of this line.

Reassuringly expensive  – Stella Artois. No longer used but a classic nonetheless.

Vorsprung Durch Technik -  Audi.  And you don’t even have to know what it means!

Just Do It – Nike. A strapline that’s so well-known it doesn’t need the company name to support it.

I also like Marks & Spencer’s strapline – Your M&S.

According to an article on Telegraph.co.uk in November 2006:

‘The “Your M&S” strapline was designed to work on three levels. It was intended to remind shareholders that they own the company, it was designed to perk up staff and it was designed to tell customers that the company will start to sell products that they want to buy.’

Here’s a good article on creating straplines and slogans for particular products and services.

Don’t fall into the National Clamps trap. Spend some time with your strapline and create something that really represents your company.

I’ll give the last line to a strapline I spotted years ago in New York. It still makes me giggle. It was on the side of a furniture company’s van and it read:

“A cheap chair for your cheap ass.’

Only in New York!

Instead of being packed with big chunks of avocado, as the packaging promised, it’s stuffed with flavourless, boring ingredients that bulk it out.  Things like limp lettuce, pointless mustard and cress, watery mayo, and soggy tomatoes.  And hidden away somewhere in that lot is just a teeny tiny hint of avocado. 

And that’s like bad business writing although, unlike our sandwich, it probably wouldn’t even tempt you in the first place. 

There’s little to draw you in.  When you do make the effort there’s too much pointless waffle and not enough of the interesting stuff. 

It doesn’t get to the point. Sentences are stuffed with unnecessary words and phrases, or adjectives that don’t add anything useful. The message is lost somewhere in paragraph three – a destination the reader is unlikely to reach. 

So here are some tips to tempt your reader, keep their interest, and avoid soggy sandwich syndrome:

• Use an attention grabbing but descriptive headline
• Get to the point as soon as possible. What does your reader want to know? Tell them.
• Use everyday language.  Formal language can be a turn-off and it’s not nearly as clear as simpler words. So instead of manufacture, choose make.  Here are some other examples.

Purchase – buy

Vendor – seller

Terminate – end

Facilitate – make easy, enable

Utilise – use

Assist – help

Requirement – need

You get the picture. 

Avoid redundant words – things like this:

Foreign imports – imports are foreign.

Joint agreement – an agreement is something between two or more people, so joint is unnecessary.

Disappear from sight – disappear will do just fine.

Give advance notice – to give notice implies it’s in advance of something.

Always stay away from jargon – it will alienate your reader. And you really don’t want to do that.

Finally, keep it nice and short.

Mmm. All that talk of tangy cheddar has made me peckish.  Time to raid the fridge I think.