Is social media making us less polite?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011 at 9:42 AM

I’m a big fan of social media: blogging and Twitter in particular. It’s positive and opens up opportunities we might not otherwise stumble across. It’s made us more communicative and we can have conversations with people we’d never get to meet in the real world. It’s made us more generous towards each other as we freely share information and our time.

However, I’ve noticed another, less smiley, less considerate, and quite frankly, downright rude side to it.

Have you ever had a comment submitted to your blog that tore into your opinions, or maybe ripped apart your writing? Or perhaps a tweet that was a little less than polite? And what about some of the comment threads on other people’s blogs? I’ve even seen a Facebook thread between two people under their mutual friend’s update that became more and more irate with each comment. The mutual friend had to step in eventually to break them up!

A little while ago, my blog link to Twitter failed and someone left a tweet that read: ‘er – link!’ I know we only have 140 characters to play with but brevity isn’t an excuse for rudeness, and nor is anonymity.

But it was a recent comment submitted to my blog that prompted me to write this article. It was so vitriolic I thought it was spam and treated it as such. It was only as I pondered it later that I realised it was for real.

The author tore into my writing, picking me up on various grammatical offences and ended with what was clearly intended to be a stinging insult by saying they supposed it wasn’t bad for a PR practitioner!  (I’m not by the way, so I don’t know if that makes my crimes even worse).

The sad thing is, the post was a really positive one about something I’d thought was particularly good. The author completely missed the point.

Now don’t get me wrong: feedback is valuable. If I’m committing obvious grammatical errors in my writing, then I need to know – it’s how I make my living after all. The things the author picked me up on were all subjective, so I’m not going to abandon my career and become a hermit just yet.

My point is this: would that person have delivered feedback in such an angry, rude, and yes, hurtful way had they been standing in a room face-to-face with me? I seriously doubt it.

Just because we can hide behind an IP address or email account doesn’t  mean we should behave with any less respect or courtesy online than we would off-line.

In an article for The Observer, Sunday 24 July, ‘How the internet created an age of rage’, journalist Tim Adams explores internet anonymity in greater depth. He opens by suggesting that, “The worldwide web has made critics of us all. But with commenters able to hide behind a cloak of anonymity, the blog and chatroom have become forums for hatred and bile”.

Apparently psychologists call it deindividuation’.

While the comment left on my blog was nothing compared to the bile mentioned in Adams’s article, it was never the less done without any attempt at constructive feedback.

So, as much as you would in the real world, think before you deliver criticism online.  What’s the purpose of your feedback? Are you giving it to be helpful? I’m assuming the answer will be yes, otherwise why bother? Have you been asked for your feedback? Even if you have, you should consider the effect your words will have and choose them carefully.

And most of all, would you like to be on the receiving end of your words?





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Hello. I'm Elaine, I'm a copywriter and this is my blog.

It's mostly about words and writing - things that inspire me, entertain me, and make me smile. Sometimes it's about things that horrify me so much I want to scream and shout!

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